I’m back from my unannounced blog hiatus with words of wisdom and epiphanies to expound. As I’ve said before, I don’t do New Year’s resolutions because I think the whole concept sets people up for failure. Like you may decide, “My resolution is to exercise 4 days a week.” Awesome. But life happens and you miss a day and then you think, “Well, I missed a day. What’s the point now? May as well have cake.” And there you go–failure. So I don’t make them. Or at least I don’t call them resolutions. I call them goals. Because you can’t fail at your goals. You can keep going after a goal. I started by writing a bunch of goals but I realized they could really be summed up in two big ones. Below are my two for 2011 and beyond (because they are something I work on continuously). What are you yours?
Focus on the positives.
This is something I’ve been working on for years and still have not achieved. It’s too easy to let someone’s negativity weigh me down, and that’s killer–especially in this business. So, instead of focusing on the bookstore who told me he will not stock my book because he only stocks books people are interested in reading (some people are so warm and fuzzy, you just want to hug them, right?), I’ll focus on the awesome places who give me a chance like:
1. This fantastic new bookstore that opened in Hawthorne, NJ. It’s called Well Read and the owner, Bill, and I are working on a program called The Visiting Writer Series where authors will come in and do workshops with high school students. The bookstore is what I envision bookstores to be. It’s super spacious but cozy and there’s coffee, cookies, and wonderful places to sit and read. AND, he sells new and used books. I’ve been dying for a store that sold used books to open up in this area for ages.
Another indie in Tenafly, NJ, called Acorns Bookshop. This store is so charming. You truly need to check it out if you’re in the area. Walking in, reminded me of entering a story book land. And I feel so lucky that the owner is hosting a signing for me this weekend (Saturday, Jan. 8, 12 pm). And she let me run with it and was open to all ideas I had, which is more than I imagined.
The B&N in Paramus, NJ, that has been extremely encouraging and even has my books facing out on the shelves! That gesture alone is worth mentioning because, um, how do people buy new author’s books if they don’t know they’re there?
The Books-A-Million in Paramus, NJ, (obviously, Paramus is just awesome) which brought me in to sign books on a great busy day in 2010 and invited me to come back and sign more in the next few months.
Bookstores supporting new authors is fantastic and I’m so thankful for that!
2. The wonderful schools–holla at Stratford High School, Jonathan Dayton High School, and Tenafly High School–which have been so receptive and supportive of the arts and promoting their students’ passion for writing. Thank you for letting me into your classrooms and allowing me to work with such amazingly talented students. The students’ skills and maturity and their knowledge of what they want to do with their lives truly impressed me. I certainly was not at that place in high school or some of college for that matter. 🙂
3. My sister–who talks about me and my book every chance she gets. Reading IS the best medicine, she tells her patients. Ok, no she doesn’t really say that, but she’s been fantastic about getting me contacts and publicizing my events.
4. My in-laws who mention their book to their friends and their friends who are working to get my name out and give me contacts, my parents who do the same, my husband who I unfairly go off on sometimes but who I realized this weekend is really proud of me and is just looking out for me and wants me to be happy
5. All the fabulous libraries and librarians, especially Kate at Fair Lawn Public Library, who have my book and who have been interested in reading it for their teen book clubs
RELAX AND BE HAPPY FOR SUCCESSES
This one is very hard for me. I don’t relax very well. I used to before I had my son, but not now. Any “relaxing” time I have, is time I spend working on book promo or writing another book. If I truly relax, then I feel guilty that I’m not working. I can’t watch TV like a normal person (which annoys my hubby to no end). I’ll watch with one eye and flip through computer sites with the other. It’s a problem. But something my husband said the other day struck a chord. I was asking him about my career plan and how he thinks things are going, and he said, “I didn’t think it would be like this.” So, in my head I started to get annoyed and decided that he didn’t believe in what I was doing and more stuff like this (meanwhile, he wasn’t saying anything to the contrary so of course I got more annoyed). Then, days later, when we were discussing my desire to teach college (someday very soon hopefully), he said: “If you did that, you’d have another focus. You wouldn’t be obsessing over this book as much. You’d just be happy it was published and looking to your next one and it wouldn’t be EVERYTHING.” So then I hit rewind and thought about the earlier thing he said about it not being like this and realized that he wasn’t being unsupportive. That statement was about how I was feeling. (So, after 7 years of marriage, I’m finally realizing how my hubby communicates and what he means. Well, it’s better than after 20).
Anyway, he’s right. This should be good. I should be happy. Reviews have been good. And I have a book out. That’s pretty cool. So I’m going to really try to just be happy and obsess less. Notice I didn’t say not obsess at all. I mean who are we kidding, that would just not be possible. As my agent pointed out, if I spent my obsessing time on writing, imagine how productive I would be!
Well, I’m off to run on the treadmill. Another goal. Happy 2011!
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