Private: Blog - Margaret Gurevich

Calling All Control Freaks!

I used to be a control freak. It served me well when I was a teacher. Helped keep me organized. I found out lots of teachers were control freaks so I was in good company. The funny thing is that I didn’t realize how much this was a part of me until it was gone. My family warned me that it was going to be tough for me when I had my son. “Can’t be all about you and how you want things anymore,” my brother-in-law constantly told me while I was pregnant. “Yeah, yeah. I know,” I always said, but a part of me did worry about that. And then my Kiddo was born and the control thing was the least of my problems. I was amazed how easy it was to switch all my attention to Kiddo and away from me, how easy it was to give up control of my life for what was better for him. As he grew older, I realized how the rest of my world functioned on the assumption that moms needs some room for dallying. I would rush to get to our Mommy and Me music, library or gym classes on time only to discover nothing started until 10 minutes after the “start” time. I got into that groove. I stopped (and still do) and watched mowers and blowers and dump trucks. But now, the flexible schedule has started to affect my writing. Now, Kiddo is almost 2.5 years old and I need some of my old freakishness back.

It’s not that I’m totally UNproductive. It’s just that I could be more. I would LIKE to be more. I could go on and say how hard it is to write when Kiddo’s naps are short these days and that I would rather watch GLEE when I finally put him to bed than pick up a pen or open my laptop (I open it to play Bejeweled Blitz but I have yet to find a way to spin this as a productive activity). But I’m not alone in this. Lots of writers have kids. My friends and husband tell me that I’ll have lots of time to write more when Kiddo is older but that’s not useful to me. I highly doubt my agent is going to wait until Kiddo starts first grade to see a draft of my next book. Yeah, she said she wouldn’t rush me, but I think waiting 4 years is a bit much. 🙂 I know, too, I can ask her for a deadline but then I might not make it and as I wrote in my first post, I have NOT missed a deadline. Ever. I’m not going to start. So I need to find a way to write more. I figure my fave shows are going on a hiatus for a bit now so perfect timing! But there’s another obstacle I’ve learned about two days ago.

My husband is an actuary (does stuff with numbers, statistics, lots and lots of big bad math–and, no, he doesn’t figure out when people die) and has nine exams he has to take. He has completed seven, which is huge, but we have been putting off the last two because it was hard to study with an infant/young toddler. A few days ago he found out he really needs to take the last two–like right now–before some major exam stuff is changed. If you don’t know about actuarial exams, I don’t want to take away your innocence. I will only say that they’re super scary–like fangs, claws, fur–and they kidnap my hubby during the study period. In the past–in my cute control freak days–I would help keep him on track with his studying. He’d ASK me to even. We would make up a study plan and I’d be his little cheerleader and nag. Now, I have my own motivation problems. I need someone to make a schedule for ME.

Can any of you help? Can you be the Monica to my Rachel and control my writing life? Yes, you control freaks out there get to play puppet master! Anyone want to make me a plan? Give me tips on how to get my inner control freak back? All ideas welcome!! I have an MG to write, another YA idea I want to do, a WIP, and a January project. I need to sell stuff so I can get my kid a pony (or a Thomas the Train train set, whatever). Thanks!

Welcome Post

Since most of you have never met me, I thought I’d start by sharing three things about me that may give you a glimpse into my writing world. 1) I procrastinate. 2) I have never missed a deadline. 3) I obsess. The procrastinating and obsessing go together and they both connect with being a perfectionist. My dad thinks the perfectionist part of me is a good thing (probably because he can say I get that from him), but it can drive me crazy. This website is a classic example. It took me forever to finally launch this thing (OK, not forever, just like 2 months) and it was through no fault of my awesome web designer (Hi, John! You rock!). Nope, it all came down to me worrying about my first blog post (it’s awesome so far, isn’t it?), what text to put on my home page (oh gosh, I wish I was kidding), and how to arrange my bios. Totally ridiculous, I know. But I wanted to get it just right (which is what, exactly?). It’s not like these things can’t be changed or won’t be. It’s not like someone will look at the text on my home page or bio, think this is the height of my writing talent, and refuse to buy my book (or so I tell myself). And yet, I obsess anyway. Some of you reading this are drawn even more to me now, right? You find my neurosis adorable, don’t you? But, just in case, it’s repelling you, let me show you how this connects with my writing.

I can’t say these are my favorite traits about me, but they have helped at times. One example is revisions. There is definitely such a thing as too much revising, but I have yet to cross over to that dark side. I have enough of a feel of my characters, setting, and plot to know when to stop, to know whether cutting that extra scene or adding a new one is one revision too many. And even when that little voice is hammering at my brain and asking if maybe spicing things up with an alien is the way to go, I know enough to tell it to be quiet. The perfectionism is handy, however, when it comes to adding details–when my lazy side is the one that wants to dominate. There are many times I have wanted to just leave my MCs in their parkas when a bikini would have been more appropriate or insert a dead/deadbeat mom or dad because writing in another character was more than I could handle that day. So those days when I try to convince myself that a parka in July is perfect, chic, totally smokin’, I’m thankful for the part of me that knows better and won’t allow it.

I’ve talked to other writers and have been told I’m not special. We all obsess, we all are neurotic, we all want the story to be completely perfect. Most of them have never missed a deadline either, so what’s the harm, right? I have also learned strategies that lower my freak-out factor and that make my quirks work for me. That’s kind of where this blog comes in. I want it to be a lot of things: a place to interview other writers and people in the business (e.g. editors, agents, publishers, etc.), a place where I can share what I learned and chat about everything from the writing process to how Panera’s sandwiches inspire me, and a place for other writers to share their WIP and get advice and encouragement on anything from an idea to a poem to a chapter. I hope you’ll keep dropping by and maybe share some of your own oh so lovable quirks as well.

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